Former English leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured multiple English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the condition.
"There's an element of facing the future and hesitating to completely absorb that at the present time," he commented.
"This doesn't mean I don't understand where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, says rather he feels "at ease" as he directs his attention to his current wellbeing, his family and planning ahead for when the condition deteriorates.
"Maybe that's surprise or perhaps I handle situations differently, and when I have the facts, it's simpler," he continued.
Initial Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after noticing some weakness in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the issue, a series of scans revealed nerve cells in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately extremely affected about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that everything is fine," he continued.
"I don't feel sick. I don't sense poorly
"The signs I have are very minor. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the hand area and the shoulder.
"I continue to be competent to accomplishing anything and everything. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is possible."
Illness Progression
MND can advance quickly.
As per the charity MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a 33% of people within a year and above half within 24 months of identification, as eating and respiration become harder.
Medical care can only slow deterioration.
"It's not me that I am upset for," commented an emotional Moody.
"It's the sorrow around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Effect
Conversing from the family home with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with feeling when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the traumatic news, commenting: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two wonderful boys and that was rather devastating," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and started cleaning the drops off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody stated the emphasis was staying in the now.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be extremely strongly concentrated on just welcoming and appreciating everything now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been truly lucky that the sole choice I made when I left playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those years back."
Player Association
Top-level sportspeople are excessively impacted by MND, with investigations indicating the prevalence of the disease is up to six times elevated than in the general population.
It is considered that by reducing the oxygen obtainable and producing harm to nerve cells, consistent, strenuous exercise can initiate the illness in those inherently predisposed.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who won 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his fearless, unwavering style to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once caused a practice scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a practice gear and started engaging in collisions.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the crucial passage of play, setting a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to score the game-deciding field goal.
Backing System
Moody has already informed Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a few other ex- colleagues about his medical situation, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the rest of public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to depend on their assistance but, at the minute, just having that sort of care and acknowledgment that people are present is what's important," he said.
"The sport is such a wonderful group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it ended now, I've enjoyed all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you get to consider your love your vocation, it's one of the most significant blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so long a period with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will wish to support in any way they can and I await having those discussions."
